


Here in My Heart

by mymeanttofind



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, F/M, Infertility, Marriage, Miscarriage, Modern AU, Modern Era, pregnancy loss, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:13:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29205660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mymeanttofind/pseuds/mymeanttofind
Summary: How do you begin to grieve a loss you never got to know?How do you sleep at night when you hear the sobs of your loved one in the next room?How do you stay together when everything is pulling you apart?The story of one couple, longing to just be ‘Mum and Dad’.tw: Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage, Depression, Anxiety
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton & Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington
Comments: 29
Kudos: 80





	1. A Quiet Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I want everyone to be aware of the trigger warnings for this fic, I shan't go into too much detail but enough that I believe you should think about reading first if you worry about the warnings.
> 
> This is the first fic I have written in over 3 years, so please forgive me if it is rubbish! POLIN truly own my heart, however, I am not very good at writing happy things, so after 2 weeks of trying - I reverted back to my own comfort of writing about pain and here we are! Enjoy!
> 
> tw: Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage, Depression, Anxiety

PROLOGUE

Penelope had always had a thing about dates, it was a Tuesday when she met her baby sister Felicity. It was a Monday when she met Eloise at School. It was a Saturday when she met and fell in love with Colin. It was a Wednesday when they kissed for the first time. A Sunday when they married. And it was a Thursday when after 1 year of trying, they lost their baby at 13 weeks.

CHAPTER ONE - A Quiet Loss

The Uber from the hospital was silent, the driver understanding when he had picked them up from the hospital, their grey faces painting an image of grief unimaginable. He drove them home, the sun barely starting to rise on a new day as empty streets greeted them. The journey took only 20 minutes before they pulled up at the suburb property, with too many bedrooms for just two people. Unlocking the door with one hand, Colin held on to Pen as he led her in if he let her go, he feared she would disappear. They both knew the Doctors said to rest all day, and that it was only 5 am, but neither blinked as Pen opened the fridge and poured two glasses of wine, the only noises to break their silence. As they both took a sip, Colin recoiled in horror at how it had gone sour, unused after being half-drunk the night they found out. 

Found out about the baby they had both craved for so long. 

Setting down the glass he went to throw away the bottle, but Pen reached it before him, and with barely a glance of acknowledgement that he was even there, she poured the rest of the bottle in her glass and walked out to the garden. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her head, to scream why. Why had their happiness been stolen away? To sit by her side like the husband she deserved as she watched the sunrise on their first day as a two once again. But instead, he watched from the comfort of the kitchen window, silent tracks falling down his face as his wife slowly started shaking, her back to him, as the sobs ripped through her body.

Minutes or hours passed, who knew or who cared, before either one of them moved. The sun was in the sky by now as Colin padded outside, still in his shoes from hours before. Sitting by Pen, he heard the shaky breaths still coming from her chest, in between the rancid sips of wine.

“I know it tastes shit, and I know what you are going to say, but I don’t care right now.”  
“I don’t know what to say Pen...I don’t.”  
“Then just say nothing. But if you could, could you call my work and...” Colin pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Already done. And I’ve told Simon not to expect us at dinner tonight. He seemed like he’d ask the least questions for now.” A pained breath caught in her throat, the thought of their family knowing the truth, knowing that they’d lost their baby. A baby that their whole family constantly asked when was coming. Pitying eyes would follow them when they heard the truth, while their nieces and nephews ran around their feet. Their presence an ever-painful reminder that would not stop sinking deeper and deeper into their hearts and souls. 

“We can’t tell them Col, we can’t! Oh, your mother would be so upset, the looks they would give, and when it gets out people will talk! Oh, look at poor Colin, his wife can’t even give him a baby!” The tears were coming thick and fast now, and Colin could see the signs of his wife having a panic attack. So instead of hugging her and assuring her of her fears like he wanted to, he knelt in front of her and turned over her hands, so they laid flat on top his as he looked her in the eyes. Silently they practised their well-rehearsed routine, where Pen would slowly mould her breathing to match his, her body slowly stopping shaking. But nothing could stop the tears, the lines down her face red-raw from the last 10 hours when this nightmare had only just begun.

“First of, I told you to stop reading those gossip Instagram pages. You know what they say is bollocks, and all their followers are just spoilt brats egging them on. And what they write isn’t even grammatically correct these days.” His dramatic eye-roll with a cheeky wink was enough to draw out a hint of a chuckle from Penelope’s lips. It was true, the gossip pages surrounding her husband’s family’s and the world they lived in had gone downhill and become more bitter since she had stopped running her own secret page years ago. 

“And secondly my dear, darling wife,” the crack in his voice exposing how he himself barely he was holding it together, “We don’t have to tell them anything we don’t want them to know. You know Mum would only be upset for us, not this stupid idea you have in your head that you let them down. Let me down.” At that, she couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore. More than the pain that ran through her veins, the grief gripping her heart over their loss, it was the guilt that flooded her entire being that was tearing her apart. All Colin wanted was to be a Dad, and she had lost the baby. A finger gently pushed her head back up, her eyes locking on his. Never had she seen the green sparkle she had come to love that danced in his eyes, disappear. It has dimmed when he had lost his father, when they broke up because of a rumour, but never had it faded altogether. And yet here she was, looking straight at her husband, straight through him, and there was no spark.

“Don’t you dare for one-second blame yourself! Do you blame me for what happened?” The gentle shake of her head she gave was all the energy her body could muster. 

“And I don’t blame you. Not for one second. The Doctor said it just wasn’t meant to be, and I know that is no good to us Pen, not after the year we have had.” The tears finally broke the ranks behind his lashes, and nothing could stop them as they streamed down his face. 

“But it is not your fault. Not one bit. Now, why don’t I run you a bath, get you a tea and then we hide away and stay in be- on the sofa all day.” They both knew why they couldn’t get into bed, the red-stained sheets would still be there, the pain too raw right now to tackle it. A small nod from Pen was all Colin needed as he gently helped his wife up and into the house, as the sun reached its morning height in the sky.

And, if they went the long way to the stairs, ignoring the room that laid out all their 12-week scan pictures from just last week on a table, ready to be given to family members that night as an announcement, well neither would ever admit it.


	2. Message Understood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin should have thought more about that text he sent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! First, I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to every single one of you that has read my story so far, it means the absolute world.
> 
> Secondly, confession time. I am not as happy as I believe I could be with this chapter, as I knew where I wanted the story to continue from here, but how I got there I believe isn't my best work. I already have 5 chapters mapped out so I think the angst and grief are here to stay for a while.
> 
> tw: Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage, Depression, Anxiety

An unspoken deal had formed between the two of them as Colin gently helped her into the bath, they wouldn’t leave each other’s sight. How could they, when each other was all they had right now. The hot water was doing a grand job at soothing her muscles, but the pains in her stomach still lingered. The Doctor had said it could take hours before everything would be over, something Colin was struggling more with than Pen herself. The pained cry she had screamed only 12 hours ago, rousing him from his dreams and plunging him into a hellish nightmare had started to replay in his brain, at every twinge or wince that creased his wife’s brow.

“Do you want me to get you some more meds? It’s coming up to 4 hours since you last had some...” The vice grip that suddenly surrounded his hands told him that she needed him here more than any pain medication could do, so he sat back down beside the bath, gently brushing the fiery red knots from her hair as the warmth coming from the bath surrounded them both. When Penelope was finally ready, bundled in towels and holding hands, they gently moved together to the spare room, where Colin’s wardrobe was situated.

“I guess it finally paid off me taking up all our wardrobe space in the bedroom.” A lifeless chuckle left her lips as she made the joke, neither of them truly finding the humour in not going into their room, but her attempt was enough to relieve some of the tension. This is who Colin and Pen were, the happy go lightly comedic partnership. Joy was usually buzzing throughout their house, whether it was a kitchen dance party when they cooked, or their laughs ringing when watching the telly, their house was never quiet, never sad. So even though the thick air of grief that was choking them both right now, was getting too much to bear, Colin knew he hadn’t lost his wife. Not yet. Pen dressed in his old Uni sweats as Colin changed into pjs before they both made their way downstairs. 

“I know we said no more takeout, but I don’t think either of us should be cooking right now. So, I’ll order the food and you make a blanket den on the sofa.” To say Colin was constantly astounded by his wife was an understatement. On a daily basis, she blew his mind, but now as he watched her turn on the TV and grab her phone from the coffee table where she had left it last night to order their food, he was struck. She was keeping going when all he still wanted to do was crumble and scream. Instead of doing so, however, he grabbed the blankets from a basket in the corner and started to lay them out. If he couldn’t scream, he could bloody do this for his wife. While her back was turned, he ever so quickly ran and grabbed her prescription of pain relief and two glasses of water, returning before she had even noticed he was gone. 

Pen knew Colin was struggling, he was in pain. But she wasn’t being strong for him, she wasn’t even being strong for herself right now. She needed to be strong for the baby they had lost. For the family, they so desperately wanted to be a reality. If she fell apart now, she didn’t know if she would ever stop falling.

...................................................

It was on his morning run that Simon received that text from his brother-in-law. It wasn’t the fact it was from Colin that made him stop to read it straight away, it wasn’t even the fact it was only 5:30 am, an hour he wasn’t sure his brother had ever seen, valuing his sleep more than any other Bridgerton he knew. No, it was the use of ‘Simon’ as an opening that made him freeze. Colin had always named him ‘Duke’ over text, an inside joke from years ago. Using his Christian name was unheard of by Colin and dread ran through him. The text seemed innocent enough at first glance, but he knew something was wrong, so at only 1 mile into his usual 5-mile run, he turned back towards home to ask his genius wife. 

It was only 10 minutes later that Simon managed to run down the driveway to his house, only the light in the kitchen a sign that anyone has been up this early. Simon had never been a particularly early riser himself, though not as bad as Colin that was for sure, but since his beautiful girls had come into his life, a pre 6:30 am run was the only time for exercise and solitude while his family laid blissfully asleep. Letting himself in, he quietly crept upstairs, knowing the precise places on the steps to stand to stay quiet before making his way to the master bedroom. 

“I thought you would be another 40 minutes at least today...” a sleepy mumble came from under the white bedsheets as he shut the door behind him.

“So, did I, but your brother messaged me, and it’s confused me.” The confusion in his voice must have registered with Daphne because soon her head was popping up between the sheets, as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. 

“Which one and what have they done now?” The slim hand that was held out for him needed no further instruction as he pressed the phone into her hand and a quick kiss to her forehead. 

“It’s Colin, and I’m not quite sure.” Simon pondered as he got changed into some relaxed clothes, always taking Friday’s off to spend with his family. Climbing back into bed beside his wife, he kissed her bare shoulder as her eyes flicked over the screen reading the text.

Colin B. Sent 5:37 am.

‘Simon, sorry but Pen and I won’t be there tonight at dinner. I’ve decided to surprise Pen and take her away for the weekend. Please don’t have anyone text her to ruin the surprise. Also, the place won’t have any reception, so no point in texting either of us all weekend, you should tell the others that. Have fun tonight and send the family our apologies.’

The deep frown that suddenly cast its way over his wife’s face was enough for Simon to know he was right to be unnerved by the text. 

“That’s not a suggestion for us not to bother texting them, that’s an order. Why wouldn’t he want us to message them? And he didn’t call you Duke? I know I hate that nickname and constantly tell him off for teasing you so, but he would never stop sending it via text. This doesn’t add up at all.” The worry lines seemed to deepen on both their faces as they stewed in silence over what the message could mean. The silence lasted so long that Simon was about to get up and start making coffee before the kids arose before a gasp fell from Daphne’s lips as she scrambled to get her phone off her bedside table. Caught between curiosity at what his wife was doing and the call for coffee, Simon found himself bent awkwardly half off the bed in continued silence waiting rather impatiently for his wife as she scrolled through her phone. 

“A few days ago, Pen texted me asking if everyone would definitely be there at dinner tonight, I had to reassure her several times. I kept wondering why she was needing to know everyone would be there, and she said she just wanted to make sure no one would miss out on the family dinner. I thought it odd until I remembered something.” Daphne looked up at her husband, and the sadness that he saw in her eyes surprised him into sitting back down. 

“What did you remember my love?” His gentle tone wasn’t enough to convey how quickly he wanted her to hurry up and answer, but he wouldn’t rush Daph, not when she seemed so upset all of a sudden. 

“About 2 weeks ago I took Pen to lunch, I was in the city and knew her office was near where I had a meeting so I figured I would get to spend some time with her. I didn’t mean to, and it was awfully rude of me, but her phone was left facing up when she went to the bathroom. And I couldn’t stop myself from reading a text from Colin that popped up.” The fact Daphne was on the verge of tears by now was starting to really panic Simon. For sure, he knew she was attuned to minor details, she wasn’t a magazine researcher for nothing, but even these random events seemed too odd to draw any conclusion from.  
“The message was oh so lovely Simon, I was so excited, but it wasn’t my news to tell. I thought tonight would be the night, but oh god I think something has happened.” A horrid feeling made its way into Simon's stomach, as he started to draw his own conclusions, but he couldn’t work it all out until he knew the facts like Daphne. Instead, he gently rubbed his wife’s hand to encourage her to continue her train of thought. 

“He wrote” a single tear started to roll down her cheek, 

“Only 6 more days and 3 hours till we see our miracle baby again. I love you, C xx”

...................................................

Hour after hour passed as Colin held Pen against him, the TV softly playing in the background though neither paid attention. After breakfast had been consumed, they had moved into a lying down position, not a word was spoken between the two as they just held each other as wave after wave of grief crashed around them. At some point, they both dozed off, tangled together like one, none the wiser that the Hastings understood enough to know that it was through pain and loss that Colin had written that text. They made a deal to honour their wishes at dinner that night, not letting the family know that something was amiss for the two, telling them about the weekend Colin had planned for Pen. But inside, both Simon and Daphne had decided they would be damned if Colin and Penelope thought they would be suffering through this alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh POLIN, what am I doing to you. As I have replied to a few people, I am truly trying to make this as reflective to reality as I can, without causing too much pain to you all. I don't want to say there will be a happy ending in the way you all want, I am unsure how I want to end this, however, I know there will be a resolution that will leave our dear Penelope and Colin happy. 
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for all your kind words, it truly made me so happy today I can't even explain it. Sending love and hugs to you all, and if anyone has been affected by what I have written, I may not be an expert but I am always here for a char if you need it, and can give you links and numbers to those that could help you more than I ever can.


	3. Pancakes For All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into family life for Simon and Daphne, while Pen and Colin start another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we go! Chapter 3! I have never written so much for one fic before but I must say I am really enjoying the chance to be creative. This chapter is definitely less POLIN that others, but I hope in the grand scheme of things you can see how it ties in.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> tw: Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage, Depression, Anxiety

The sun was barely rising in the sky as Penelope found herself waking up. Checking her phone, she could see they had slept 14 hours on the sofa, both too exhausted mentally and physically to try and fight it. Carefully so as not to disturb Colin, she stood up from the sofa, hissing slightly at the tightness she felt in her stomach before she padded into the kitchen to take some more painkillers and start on the coffee. It almost didn’t feel like she was quite awake yet, caught in this dream-like state where the trauma of the last few days hadn’t yet fully been realised in her barely awake state yet. Penelope could see her phone flashing to be charged, so as the kettle boiled, she plugged it in, checked the fridge for milk, before turning back to her phone to see her screen was immediately filled with messages. While barely paying attention to the TV yesterday, at some point Colin had shown her the message he had sent Simon, her delirious state also not seeing the clear errors in the message sent, so had expected a few messages of people saying they had missed them despite having asked for no contact. But what she hadn’t been prepared for was the onslaught of messages from Eloise. She started off by saying she wanted to know every minor detail from the weekend ahead, going as far as to book Pen’s favourite restaurant on Monday evening for an ‘overdue catchup’. The shaky breath she took at the thought of having to leave the house and face her well-meaning, but intense best friend almost made her miss one message in particular, as she scrolled through. 

El <3 Sent 9:45 pm.

“ps. I expect you pregnant after this weekend, after ditching me this evening! You know Mum wants us to have number 2, but we just aren’t ready yet! At least this way it would take the pressure off me ;) xx

It wasn’t Eloise’s fault. She didn’t know. But where does rationality come into it when your heart is breaking. Maybe it was her throwing the empty mug at the wall as it smashed into pieces that woke Colin, or maybe it was her tortured cry as she fell to the floor in tears that did it. Either way, he quickly ran into the kitchen barely awake to see his wife sobbing in a ball on the floor surrounded by shards of ceramic.

‘Did you cut yourself Pen?? What happened? Please tell me, sweetheart!” Colin grabbed her hands checking for blood, sure that was the cause of her pain. Upon seeing them clean, he pulled her into his arms as she clung to him sobbing.

“I’m-I’m s-s-sorry. I didn’t mean to throw it. She didn’t mean it. She didn’t know.” A choked sob came out of Pen as she showed Colin the message from his sister. Oh, his sweet, stupid sister. Of course, she couldn’t have known how ill-timed it was to have sent such a message. If Eloise could see them now, she would be mortified. But it didn’t matter. Reading that message would have been a knife through his heart before the pregnancy after trying for so long. But to read it now, it was like tearing him into pieces. Instead of condemning his sister’s actions, who he knew was innocent in this whole piece, he just closed her phone and pressed kiss after kiss into his wife’s head. 

“And here I thought we told them not to message us. I should have known Ellie can never be trusted.” The chuckle, albeit light and full of tears, that came from between his arms was enough to make Colin’s heart feel a little lighter. After a few minutes, Pen started to wipe her tears as they both stood.

“And at least it was that god awful mug you like so much that broke.” He looked down to see the blue shards scattered around them that indeed was once his favourite mug, won on a University night out years ago.

“Well, now I think you did this on purpose” his teasing lilt breaking her lips into a small smile as she shook her head gently.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t, you’ll never know.” The chaste kiss pressed to his cheek brought a huge smile to his face, as they looked at each other lovingly. The air between the two of them, though still filled with sadness and loss, felt a little less stifling than it had the day before. 

“Come on love, go take a shower and I will clean this up. I know you haven’t had one since we came home. The bread has gone bad and we are low on milk, so I’ll order breakfast again. I fancy another sofa day”. The genuinely calm smile that Pen sent him made his heart feel even lighter. He nodded giving her a quick kiss before he bounded up the stairs two by two, not even giving their room a second look as he went to shower in the guest bathroom. 

As he stepped out the shower a little while later, feeling even more human, he smelt coffee wafting through the house. Quickly getting dressed into some more sweats before running back down the stairs, he went straight into the kitchen where an extended hand held out a steaming mug of coffee with his name on it.

“I swear, one thing I will never tire of with you till the day I die, is how you make my coffee. It’s magic”. Taking a huge gulp, ignoring the burn down his throat, Colin winked at Penelope before taking her hand as they moved to sit on the sofa. There they stayed, watching a Saturday Breakfast programme, her head on his shoulder as they started another new day together.

...................................................

“Amelia! Belinda! Grab whatever one toy you want to take to Nana Violet’s and let’s go! If we are late, she won’t make pancakes!!!” The thumping sounds of little feet running above him couldn’t help but make him laugh, his girls were suckers for pancakes. Admittedly though, even he himself could never say no to Violet’s pancakes, they were glorious. He held their coats and backpacks in his hands, still rather perturbed by how much stuff little people needed as he saw his daughters finally make their way down the stairs, each with definitely more than one toy in their hands. Usually, he would make them decide on just one. He believed teaching them a sensible lesson about valuing and treasuring what you have could stem from choosing toys, but the lesson did usually take a good twenty minutes. Time which, according to his wife as she emerged from the kitchen, they didn’t have today. So as Daphne helped them get their shoes on, he stuffed the toys into their bags before they all slipped on their coats and started to walk to the car.

“Why aren’t you and Mummy staying today Daddy? You always stay on pancake Saturday!” Perceptive as ever, 4-year-old Amelia questioned, as she looked at him through thick lashes while he buckled her into her car seat.

“Because sweetheart, Mummy and I have a few.... meetings and errands to go to today, you know Daddy is going for a new job?” the fierce nod that came from both toddlers almost made him laugh, “Well we need to see a few people about it. But I promise we will pick you up before dinner and we can all go out and get pizza, sound good?” Amelia turned to her little sister Belinda and started mumbling as if deliberating the offer. At barely 2 years old, the offer of pizza was enough for Bel to be convinced of anything, but her respect of her older sister was even stronger, so she nodded along to whatever Amelia was saying with big eyes of adoration.

“Okay, Daddy!!” They both shouted at the same time and Simon couldn’t resist a chuckle as he moved to sit in the front as Daph started the car up.

“They have you wrapped around their little fingers...” the smirk his wife gave just made him laugh more as they set off towards his mother-in-laws. Well, she wasn’t wrong. 

...................................................

Pulling into view of her mother’s home, Daphne couldn’t help but smile. The way the ivy-covered the walls and intertwined with roses across the front, always made her feel like she was stepping into a dream. And to be honest, that was what being in her mother’s presence was often like, dreamlike. How one woman, through all the heartache she had been through, could be so positive and kind, Daphne would never know. She stopped the car on the drive as the front door to the house swung open, her mother appearing in her apron with a huge smile on her face. The girls started to try and undo their own buckles, crying out to try and get to their Nana, the apron a sure-fire promise of sweet treats to come, and Daphne and Simon could only chuckle as they let the girls out of the seats, before they jumped out and ran to Violet, where her arms were waiting open wide.

“Sometimes” Simon started as he grabbed their bags and shut the car doors, “I think our daughters like their Nana more than they like us.” 

Daphne let out a loud laugh as she responded. “Oh, sweetheart if you only think that sometimes then you don’t know your daughters very well. Only two people come close to their love for their Nana, Santa Claus, and their Uncle Colin. We are a solid fourth and fifth at best.” Simon found himself rolling his eyes before kissing Daphne quickly as they made their way into the house, shutting the door behind them.

“Thanks for watching them again Mum, I know it was last minute and you don’t usually do the whole day without us, but we just have a few...um errands to run and we couldn’t bring the girls along.” Daphne leant against the kitchen door as Violet started to heat up a pan for pancakes, intending to leave straight away so they could start their plans for the day. It was only as she saw her 6 ft 3 husband sat in between his daughters with his own pink princess plate ready and waiting for pancakes, that she realised how unlikely they were to leave until he had been doted on just the same as her mother’s grandchildren. 

“And here I thought, you weren’t staying Simon dear” Violet teased with a twinkle in her eye as Simon had at least the decency to look sheepish as his daughters giggled beside him at their Daddy getting teased by Nana.

“I just thought, seeing as though the batter is already made, maybe I could have one quickly?” the puppy eyes were perhaps a step too far on his mother-in-law, but it worked all the same and soon he was licking his syrup covered lips as Daphne rolled her eyes still stood at the kitchen door. Too engrossed in their pancake eating, Simon and the girls didn’t notice Violet and Daphne leaving the room, a cool bag in her mother’s hands.

“I am not asking you to tell me anything. But a mother knows when something is wrong. I have a batch of batter in here kept cool ready to be cooked, and some fruit and extra syrup. You know how Colin is with his pancakes.” At the mention of her brother, Violet saw the sadness in her daughter’s eyes and knew she was right to be concerned. “Just make sure they are all right. Both of them are too kind and independent for their own good sometimes, they never ask for help. And tell them, I am always here for a home-cooked meal no questions asked.” Violet pressed the handle of the bag into her eldest daughters’ hands before making her way back into the kitchen, just as Simon walked out licking his fingers. Violet squeezes his arm as she walks by before disappearing to tend to her granddaughters. Simon just looks up confused, in a slight sugar coma, as he spies the bag in Daph’s hands. 

“A mother always knows” Daphne shrugs gently in response, as they leave the house. Driving around, they start to pick up items from a few places, all part of their plan for when they visit Penelope and Colin. They end up doing a quick food shop too, knowing even if the two of them don’t need the food, Colin will hardly turn it down. Finally, they pick up some coffees before driving to the other side of town. Upon turning down Colin and Penelope’s street, the sight of two cars on the drive is enough for Simon and Daphne to know even if they aren’t correct in their theory, they definitely hadn't left on a trip. Turning onto the drive and parking, they step out of the car to a house door opening to them once again. But instead of a warm greeting like at Violet's, Colin stands there, having been expecting to see a delivery driver. His face shows one of confusion and sadness barely concealed, as his sister and brother-in-law make their way towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, well now I want pancakes. Thank you for once again all your kind comments, it means a lot. I am sorry if this chapter was a little slow and clunky, I just had a real image of what the next one will look like and wanted to get there at a reasonable pace. 
> 
> Please do leave comments, constructive criticism is welcomed, I would love to improve my work. I am sending you all hugs and love as I look out my window at the snow falling. Stay safe everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. I mean even I usually don't write things as sad as this, but I mean we are in a pandemic, stuck inside, so it was bound to happen at some point. 
> 
> Please, please give me all the criticism you have. As I said at the beginning, I haven't written in a long time so this may be no good - I haven't had anyone check it because I was scared if I did, I would bottle it and not post it, and I just needed to get this story out there.
> 
> I have done some research into infertility to write this, however, if anyone believes I am being insensitive or inaccurate, then please do let me know. I would hate to upset anyone.   
> I have started to write Chapter 2 - however, if no one likes this - don't worry I will not post! 
> 
> Sending love and hugs to you all!


End file.
